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Definition of Abuse - Abuse is defined as a systematic pattern of behaviors in any relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain control and power over another human being.


Types of Abuse

Emotional  abuse includes hurting another person's feelings by saying cruel,  unfair comments or by name calling,
such as: 

Psychological Abuse
Psychological abuse is any threat to do bodily harm to a partner, a  child, a family member, friends, pets, or one's self (suicide). Psychological  abuse involves not only hurt and anger, but also fear and degradation. The  purpose of psychological abuse is to render you emotionally insecure about your  own self-worth and to render you helpless and/or not able to escape further  physical, sexual and/or psychological abuse. Examples include your partner:
  • threatening to punch, hit, slap or kick 
  • threatening to use a weapon 
  • threatening to harm him/her-self if you leave
  • threatening to punish children to "get back" at you
  • threatening to harm pets • throwing objects in your direction 
  • vague  threats such as: "You're going to get it," or "I'm really going to let you have  it"
  • harming a pet to "get back" at you 
  • smashing and breaking things 
  • throwing objects around the room 
  • punching walls, slamming doors 
  • hiding, stealing or destroying your possessions 
  • sabotaging your car 
  • any emotional abuse which in the past was a prelude to physical or sexual abuse

Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is any non-consenting sexual act or behavior. Examples include your partner forcing sexual activity when:
  • you indicate "no" and your limits are not respected 
  • you are sleeping • you are drunk or high and are unable to say "no" 
  • you are afraid to say "no" Or when your partner: 
  • insists that you dress in a more sexual way than you wish to dress 
  • makes  demeaning remarks about how you dress 
  • makes  demeaning remarks about your body and/or body parts 
  • minimizes your feelings about sex 
  • berates you about your sexual history; blames you if you were sexually abused in the past or as a child 
  • criticizes you sexually (calling you "frigid," for example) 
  • insists on touching you sexually when you do not want to be touched, either when the   two of you are alone or in the presence of others 
  • calls  you a whore or a slut 
  • has  affairs with other women (often flaunting them) after agreeing not to have sex with anyone but you 
  • physically attacking sexual parts of your body, (grabbing  your breasts, pinching your   buttocks, any touch that is unwanted) 
  • forcing you to perform any specific sexual act that you do not wish to do (for example   oral sex, or acting out pornography)

Physical Abuse Physical abuse is any forceful or violent physical behavior. Examples include:
  • slapping 
  • choking 
  • punching 
  • kicking 
  • pinching 
  • pushing 
  • shoving 
  • biting 
  • spanking 
  • scratching 
  • grabbing 
  • throwing bodily 
  • burning 
  • restraining 
  • spitting

Other behaviors in  this category include throwing objects at the partner, or using or threatening  to use a weapon of any kind (stick, ruler, belt, whip, knife, spoon, gun...)  

© 2004 Domestic Abuse Project
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